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I Don't Mean To Be Rude, But...
The Simon Cowell Book of
Nasty Comments
The newest addition to the University book store and required reading list. Be sure to reserve your copy before they are sold out!

Click on photo to order your copy from Barnes and Noble

In this thoroughly entertaining collection of acerbic put-downs, witty one-liners, blatantly honest appraisals of terrified contestants and even catty comments on his fellow judges, American Idol’s controversial big mouth speaks on subjects as diverse as music, dance, show business, political correctness, romance, fashion, himself and his trousers. Whether he’s telling a na´ve hopeful that they sound like a kitten mewing, they look as if they’ve been dragged through a bush or are merely pleasant, safe and a little insipid, Cowell’s trademark comebacks are collected here for the first time. Covering the early years with insults to his family and schoolteachers, the jibes to first bosses at work, then the sharp retorts to aspiring stars on television and his critiques of the rich and famous, this book gathers his most well-known lines—and plenty of long-forgotten ones, too! With quotes from his admirers and enemies, and a section on how to speak fluent vitriol like the master, this is the ultimate handbook for getting ahead. (
There are TWO entire chapters of this book dedicated to HFS/JS
Industries sites!  The first is a nod to Simon Cowell University, which
includes several essays which were submitted and accepted.
Congratulations, SCU alumni!!! And you thought your education here at SCU wouldn't get you anywhere.

The second is a chapter about Simon Cowell Memorial Hospital, including a few word-for-word passages.  Unfortunately Mr. Cowell seems to have forgotten where he read them, but we suppose a writing team can't have EVERYTHING

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I Don't Mean To Be Rude, But...

Do YOU have what it takes to be a star? Simon Cowell reveals the answer and takes you behind the scenes of American Idol in this wickedly entertaining tell-all.

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Since the debut of American Idol, puckish Brit judge Simon Cowell has become Americas most notorious critic--not only on account of his incredible instinct for spotting the next breakout musical stars, but for his hilarious, shockingly candid repartee with everyone who crosses his path. Now, true to form, he holds nothing back, offering you a backstage pass to Americas hottest show--the highlights, the gossip, the contestants who blew their chances, and takes you on a whirlwind tour of the music business while sharing his own insider opinions, on everything.

From his days in the mailroom at EMI Records to the creation of American Idol, Simon has always had a knack for judging talent, and for being center stage. Here, he tells the rollicking stories of his first insult (to his mother), his first music criticism (to first-grade teacher Mrs. Prigg), and his first image makeover (on his unfortunate younger brother). And of course, the side-splitting backstory of the birth of American Idol, and all the dreadful auditions, bad hair days, judges squabbles, juicy rumors, surprise triumphs, and #1 singles that followed.

With his trademark wit and brutal honesty, Simon delivers the real dish on: Who gave the best and worst performances on the show? What really goes on between the three judges (and what was it like to kiss Paula Abdul)? Who were the biggest divas when the cameras werent rolling? And, if you're an aspiring Justin or J.Lo, youll also learn the trade secrets that only Simon knows: how to develop an image and make the most of your talent, how to find an agent or manager, how to nail an audition, and, should you be so lucky to make it to the top, how to stretch your 15 minutes into a career.

Packed with razor-sharp insights into music, the fame game, and pop-music powerhouses from the Beatles to Britney Spears, I Dont Mean to Be Rude, But, is your ticket inside American Idol, and a highly amusing, no-holds-barred look at what it takes to make it big.

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