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Simon Cowell University Campus
SCU offers a campus life steeped in tradition and Sisterhood. Competition
for Mr. Cowell's affections does not begin until after graduation, so our students develop strong bonds through their devotion
to their studies.
The Glint Building hosts all Communication and Psychology classes, as well as the
Student Union which boasts several eateries and one enormous bar.
The Erotic Arts Center creates a stimulating atmosphere for VPA courses and
demonstrations. It provides a clothing-optional haven for all students and their master.
Guest lecturers impart wisdom to SCU students at Armani Hall, the newest building
on campus and most likely to be vandalized by students. Past lecturers include Sinitta ("Making People Fear You Through
Intimidation and Plastic Surgery") and Ryan Seacrest ("The Art and Artistry of Flat-Ironing and Mascara Application").
Future home of the much-reviled white Armani Jeans sweater.
All students must reside on campus for Mr. Cowell's convenience.
Rooms are fully furnished, private and soundproofed for late night "study sessions".
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