Erotomantic Type
The belief that Simon Cowell is in love with you. (How you feel right now? That.)
Grandiose Type
The belief that you ARE Simon Cowell. May be triggered by mirror viewing while suffering from
Positive Simon Cowell Sensory Hallucinations. Manifests itself most often by inducing you to pose as Simon on the internet
and converse with other fans.
Somatic Type
The belief that without Simon Cowell, you will die. Lesser forms include feeling ill when Simon misses Ryan's radio
show, leaves the country or is absent from your television for a prolonged period of time (exacerbated by Adjustment Disorder/Separation
Anxiety).